i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
