are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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