We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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