Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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