i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
jump out the window naked night went bad
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