Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
