So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
