I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
