So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
