Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
