I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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