OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who died my cat blue again?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
