we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
