By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
