i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
