I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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