he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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