I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
