Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
