can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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