it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
