Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
