dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
