Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
