Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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