I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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