Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
