just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
