Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
God, I missed his penis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
