"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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