He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
