Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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