You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
