he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
