Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
