We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
