He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
