You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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