No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
