you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
