your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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