all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
