Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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