meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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