that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How naked do you want me to be?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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