I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
