Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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