I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
where are my eyebrows?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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