Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
