no, he came in my armpit
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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